(Continued from Prayers Are Always Answered (Just Not The Way We May Think))
When the tsunami devastated Japan on March 11, 2011, I was severely hit in my own way. When the earthquake actually shook on the other side of the world, I was sound asleep. However, I woke up that morning having had a turbulent night riddled with nightmares and feeling shaken to my core, yet unsure why I felt this way. I got up to walk down the stairs to my meditation room, to find that my legs were not fully responsive and felt numb. The bones in my pelvis, too, felt thrown out of balance. I was in physical pain, and felt like a mess in my head. Out of nowhere, I felt broken and ill.
Through that morning blur, I pushed into my day to make it to the meetings I had with music executives, as I was in the middle of promoting my music and shows at an international music conference. I went to my appointments, getting in and out of cars by lifting my legs with my hands because for some reason they would not quite work. I figured the strangeness would suddenly pass, just as it had suddenly arrived.
Later that day, a friend of mine told me that the tsunami had hit Japan. Being so involved in the conference, I had not heard. The news echoed through my soul. I immediately felt that the pain I was experiencing in my pelvis and legs was connected to the shift in the planet’s tectonic plates in Japan. I felt that this was part of what the whale was teaching me.
As the topic of the tsunami inevitably arose at the music conference, I would spontaneously burst into tears with a sense of timeless interconnection. I had little control over my spine, my legs and my tear ducts. I was a mess.
This strange numbness increased over the next couple of days as I moved through to the end of the conference. Then suddenly – out of nowhere, just after I returned home - mind-altering pain shot through my spine. My mind went blank from sheer trauma. I could not move my spine or my legs at all.
When one is assaulted by overwhelming pain, the conscious mind dissolves. I do not fully remember the details that followed. What I do remember is that a blood-curdling scream caused my partner to come running.
My partner took me by my arms and tried to carry me, while I was screaming in excruciating pain, to my bed. I would remain there for nearly three months, unable to get up even for the most basic things. Doctors gave a medical diagnosis and asked if I had been in a car accident. I said I had not experienced any actual physical impact. I was given a 50-50 chance of walking again, and spinal surgery was recommended for the immense trauma in my lower spine.
In my core, I did not believe that was the way for my healing. So I dove deeply into myself and surrendered to life force (God, Spirit, whatever you want to call it) as I had never done before. Other than a couple of friends who carried me weekly on a spine board for healing visits with a gifted biodynamic osteopath, I told no one. Deep inside my inner healing cave I went.
(Continued tomorrow with “Everything Must Die to Be Reborn”)